(In February 10 of this year, the documentary film "Alyana" was shown in Baguio City. This author along with other students, from the tertiary and post-grad level was privileged enough to see the first ever Filipino full-length documentary/movie on autism. Do read on and see the impact it has made on this writer's perception of things.)
I am the sibling of a person with autism. All my life as a sister and as the eldest daughter, I have been made aware of the special needs my brother has. While our family is atypical in terms of structure and composition, there is no doubt that love thrives and flows unrelentingly, in spite of and despite the struggles and hardships. Love not only extends to my brother who has autism. If I may say so myself, the love rather centers on him. And this has and will always be the case. My siblings and I have long surrendered ourselves to this understanding without resentment. Nobody, not a parent, not another sibling has imposed this realization on us. It dawned quite naturally on us and our spirits.
While the scenario seems highly ideal, the world is different outside of our circle. Once outside the security of our circle which comprised of my mother, myself, three other siblings, an aunt (my mother’s sister) who dotes on my brother like he was her own, the world could sometimes be cold.
Our family has time and again had to desensitize ourselves from stares by strangers. Stares were even the kinder of reactions. At times, people would snicker and more cruelly, they would even laugh at my brother and how he behaved differently. The way he rocks to and fro when we attend mass attracts so much attention, people react. The way he expresses impatience by howling in a wolf-like manner all of a sudden, in the middle of a market crowd evokes responses that are most likely of either fear or mockery. Other people, sometimes even relations would even go as far as pulling their child abruptly to their side as if to protect the kid from my brother even in his brighter, sunnier moods. Other people would look at us with what seemed more like feigned sympathy, the efforts they had to pool to show they understood was sickeningly sweet. Others would insist and impose that what we have was a difficult life to the point of unbearable. This was not the kind of support we sought. We were fine with the few friends and relatives who had more sincerity and understanding in their bones than they cared to admit.
As younger children, we would react, confront and be unyielding to those people. As we grew into adolescence, we have learned to desensitize our emotions against the “outsiders”. We were continually on the defensive.
To go on, the more significant learning experience after having viewed the documentary “Alyana” allowed me to understand the people outside my circle. What they lacked in information and understanding they projected as fear, mockery or feigned sympathy.
In the beginning of the film, I felt and heard people around making tactless side comments and unnecessary poking of fun at the children in the movie. My defensive side came to the fore anew. I was under attack. My family was under attack. My brother had to be protected somehow. I felt my anger rising but as practiced, I tried to desensitize myself. These were strangers who had no bearing in my life.
However, the “plot” of the film thickened somehow. There was silence from the seemingly cruel people. Silence and then sniffles. The very same people who made gauche remarks were crying. I was struck at how they were moved and affected by the film.
“Alyanna” ceased being just educational at this point. It has caused some awakening in the conscience of the once ignorant and rude. The salient learning I have had on account of “Alyanna” was that information, education, the right approach to making the truth about autism known to all people, bridges the gap of indifference between those who know and those who know not.
It cannot be demanded from every person to be able to compromise and commit to the cause of autism the same extent as parents, family members, special educators, and other professionals concerned with special needs have. However, it is possible for the rest of society to reach a point of understanding and acceptance of persons with autism. Society just needs to be informed and educated.
by the HOLLIES
The road is long
With many a winding turn
That leads us to who knows where
Who knows where
But I'm strong
Strong enough to carry him
He ain't heavy, he's my brother
So on we go
His welfare is of my concern
No burden is he to bear
We'll get there
For I know
He would not encumber me
He ain't heavy, he's my brother
If I'm laden, at all
I'm laden, with sadness
That everyone's heart
Isn't filled with the gladness
Of love for one another
It's a long, long road
From which there is no return
While we're on the way to there
Why not share
And the load
Doesn't weigh me down at all
He ain't heavy he's my brother
He's my brother
He ain't heavy, he's my brother
